They arrive in a place that looks like a very rundown... graveyard. It feels very lonely here. And in the middle of say graveyard, there's a house with a pretty decent-sized yard.
Something about it gives a vibe of "home", which could be a welcome vibe to people who've lost so much. Some stray cats are running around - each one very eagerly coming to check the pair out.
Here, Yusuke will find he's able to take over the body whenever he wishes, as the entity is content with its work, for now.
Monday: Eraqus gives Yusuke a tour of the house. There isn't much to it; every bedroom is empty except for one, which has a king size bed and dresser and walk-in closet. The clothes are roughly what Yusuke might enjoy wearing.
The kitchen is fully stocked, for some reason. Eraqus will explain that this place has been frozen in time for much longer than the island has been looping, and he hasn't figured out anything on fixing it.
Anywhere else in the house is free to be explored. There's paint in the attic, along with many books. The basement is empty. There's a room to do laundry, and the water is running.
A cave is in the backyard, but Eraqus asks that Yusuke waits to check that out, if he wishes.
Tuesday: Eraqus explains that they need to stay in this place just a little longer, since they need to come up with a good plan. He requests this be a day of resting. The entity's voice is eerily quiet, but the emotional nudge is still there.
Wednesday: He will approach Yusuke to ask what he wants most at this point. The entity's voice is still quiet, but the emotional nudge is stronger today.
Thursday: Entity voice is still quiet, and emotional nudge is the same as yesterday. Someone is showing up.
Friday: Another person is showing up, and the entity is. . .
[After the battle on Sunday, the presence puppeting Yusuke's body releases him, though he can still feel it squatting in his soul where he once felt his Persona. That darkness keeps him in a persistent state of mild nausea, though he does his best not to think about it. After the tour of this lonely place, during which he trails behind Eraqus without getting too close, he mostly wanders aimlessly through the house and grounds at all hours.
He bathes Sunday night, changes into comfortable clothing that is as neutral as he can find. He doesn't eat, only drinking water and a single cup of vegetable broth. The cats flock to him and he sits on the front steps to pet them. He gathers a tuxedo cat into his lap at one point on Monday, and from there it follows him everywhere, even into his room where it mews sadly at the teenager's restless attempts at slumber.
Tuesday he goes into the attic and stares at the paints for a long time. There's no inspiration, no drive, but he tries anyway because it's the only familiar thing left to him. He sees faces in the jagged stabs and swipes of color: Nico scowling, Akira's coldly disdainful stare, Goro trying to smile through tears.
He throws a canister of watered-down black at the canvas with trembling hands, obliterating the patterns. He does not return to the attic again, and he does not sleep at all.
Wednesday, he sits on the front step again, staring out into nothing as he idly strokes the tuxedo cat on his lap. He has grown haggard and painfully thin, the faintest hint of white showing at the roots of his forelock.]
[He can't help tensing when Eraqus sits beside him. At this point, he isn't sure if the other's kindness was genuine or if he'd been deceived from the beginning. Right now, he seems honestly compassionate and gentle, but Yusuke no longer trusts his own judgement.
Still, what else can he do in this place but wander like a ghost and pet the cats? He barely wants to eat or sleep and he certainly has no desire to paint. Eraqus is all the company he has but the cats and whatever's currently sleeping in his soul.
At first, he has the urge to be selfish, to ask for his life back, to go home, to forget all about this nightmare. He could wish for Akira to love him, if not this one than the one he knows back home. But he hasn't earned any of that. His Persona might even be lost and for all he knows, he could have a Palace now. He doesn't want to be like that. Better to remain here in purgatory.]
... I want Goro to live. Even if I disappear forever in exchange.
[ He looks away, expression flickering with pain. ]
Will you really condemn someone who went through the same things you just did? Has been going through it even longer than you? Who's given everything to be there by your side, no matter what?
[ His smile shifts to something wry. ]
Maybe the first step for you, after this, is to try looking at things from another person's perspective, more often. As I've tried doing for you... all this time.
In the end, I think it isn't only about what you accomplish and what you don't accomplish. I think it's about what you try to do... and how hard you fight...
That's what I was doing for everyone. That's all I've ever done, in spite of my own pain. Do you know how many times I've wanted to smack someone across the face for sounding or acting selfish, when I've never had the privilege of being that? All I've known is loss, rejection, temporary kindness from temporary people, rinse, and repeat.
Yet, I never stopped.
It'd be... so easy to give up. Especially now, when all those dark feelings are knocking at the door. So, tell me...
[Even if it's foolish, Yusuke needs someone here to care about him. Even though he spent so many years isolated, his relatively brief time with the Phantom Thieves has left him longing for friendship. Genuine guilt squeezes his chest. Maybe it's not really Eraqus's fault, maybe he's been influenced by the darkness just as Yusuke has. With everything else Yusuke has done wrong, he's tired of being a hypocrite as well.
His shoulders tremble. Hopefully the cat doesn't mind being cried on.]
I... I'm sorry... it's not your fault, I just... I-- I don't know what to do... I'm afraid....
You don't have to apologize. Just know... a person who truly cares about you wouldn't stand by and quietly watch. The truest show of caring is in them trying to steer you onto a better path.
So, really, I suppose it's only fair that you're questioning how much I can be trusted, when I wasn't able to do anything to genuinely help... before...
[ Before being swallowed by that feeling, himself. His next words are quiet. ]
I'm-... I'm scared, too... but I'm not leaving your side, Yusuke.
[ That someone is... this woman. She stands at 5'10 with long white hair and the same eerily gold eyes that much of the individuals have who "run" the island. Whoever it is has no hestitation about simply appearing in the kitchen and proceeds to make herself a cup of tea. She is not quiet about it at all and knows exactly where everything is located. ]
Ah, what I wouldn't give for a good cup of coffee.
[Yusuke walks into the kitchen when he hears the noise and the woman's voice. He stops just inside the doorway, staring at her. She's not anyone he knows, but it can't be good that she's here.]
[Her eyes make him tense. Golden eyes are never a good thing in this reality. He hasn't even looked in a mirror since arriving, for fear he'll see the same thing staring back at him. He swallows thickly and tries again.]
[His brain locks up for several seconds. What will she do if she doesn't like the name he calls her? She's pleasant, but he's learned that pleasant doesn't mean good. There's no one here to help him if something goes wrong.
But he'd deserve it, wouldn't he?]
... Tsukiko. It means "child of the moon." Your hair and your... your eyes, they remind me of the moon.
[ After he says it, there's a long contemplative pause. Then she nods in approval. ]
Tsukiko, I like it. The name is quite fitting. Please sit, Kitagawa-san. Have a cup of tea with me.
[ Tsukiko waves a hand and there's suddenly a hot cup of tea waiting for him at one of the seats at the table. She moves to sit across from it gracefully. ]
[If he wasn't holding the tea cup, his hands might be shaking. Does she really not know, or is she toying with him? He doesn't trust or believe in anyone, not even himself.]
I betrayed those who would call me friend. I tried to kill them.
[ One of her hands reaches out to gently take his, the look on her face one of concern. ]
You poor dear. None of this is what you signed up for. Watching your friends die, dying yourself, being rejected and the object of scorn over and over again.
[ A sigh. ]
Certainly those individuals didn't help you. Not giving you the answers you sought, brushing you aside as though you didn't matter. They were supposed to be teaching you, training you to defeat the entity and what did they do instead? Play games, let you all turn on each other, shattered the last of your soul to allow something dark inside of you.
[They're all things he wants to hear, justification for his moods, sympathy for his pain. He's thought every single one of those observations himself.
But he was wrong all along, wasn't he? Wasn't he selfish in thinking that way? The more he tries to think of a denial, the more his head aches. So he fixates on the one detail he can follow.]
... so I did die, didn't I? My heart felt as if it burst, the agony was unbearable.
[ She squeezes his hand gently before letting go. Tsukiko allows him the moment to think about everything, to figure out what he'll say next. Waiting patiently.
Then she nods solemnly. ]
More than once, I'm afraid. There are so many things you don't know yet, Kitagawa-san. Those people hid all of it from you. They didn't tell you how Akira was truly the one killed ten people in the first loop, that your friend, Sakura-chan was also present during that time and never came back. So many innocent people fell and never got to return.
Yet they, who remain shrouded in darkness are allowed to remember - allowed to continue existing and playing these twisted games with the friends you have.
Do they? I wonder what their reasons were for pushing you to the edge, for cracking your barriers enough to let someone else slither inside.
[ She sounds genuinely doubtful about this subject matter. ]
Do you think perhaps they chose you to be their sacrifice to the entity inside of you from the start? To instill doubt, grief, jealousy and anger in your heart to draw out their enemies just so they can end it all? [ Tsukiko rests her chin in hand thoughtfully. ]
You can call me friend if you'd like, Kitagawa-san. I'll give you nothing but the truth. Starting with what you already suspected: Vanitas lied about everything in order to protect the people he cared about, including taking the fall for Nico.
[Yusuke continues to stare into his cooling tea. Of course Nico was guilty. Of course Vanitas protected him. The only person who would've done the same for Yusuke... well, Goro gave his life to protect him that first week. The sorrow and jealousy swells in his chest, leaving him struggling to squash it back down again.]
Their reasons no longer matter. My being in this place, the entity inside me... I can never go back, can I? So there is no point in wondering why this happened or who is to blame. I know I am not innocent, however.
[He closes his eyes.]
I wanted what I cannot have, and I allowed myself to be manipulated. I haven't changed at all from the days I lived under Madarame's thumb.
[ Gold eyes watch him carefully, as she lifts her drink to take a small sip. Were he paying attention, Yusuke would notice that his own cup isn't cooling much - making it still very much fresh. ]
I believe the reasons matter very much. However, you are correct. You cannot go back. The entity inside of you is consuming your soul now. Its very dangerous and cannot give back what its already taken. Soon you, Kitagawa Yusuke, will cease to exist.
[ There is only truth to her words just like she said. ]
If I could grant you one final wish - what would you choose? Unfortunately, my powers don't allow me to change what's inside someone's heart but if it's within my abilities, I will do my best to give it to you.
[Just as Eraqus asked. This time there's no hesitation, no second-guessing. He knows what he wants.]
I wish the Goro Akechi that died to protect me here, the one that wanted to be my friend, to return to life in his own world, safely away from this place.
[ A finger taps at her cup for a second before she responds to his request. ]
I'm afraid that even if I did that now, he would not be able to return to his own world safely. During his fight with Shea, Yuri destroyed the worlds so there is nothing left for him to return to. Not yet, anyway.
[ Tsukiko smiles now. ]
For the time being, I will ensure his safety for the duration of his time within the loops until he can be returned. As for the state of his existence... well, he's not truly dead. He merely isn't whole at the current moment but that will change when the loop ends or they discover how to change that.
[So their worlds are supposedly destroyed. Which means everything Yusuke's Phantom Thieves did, everything Goro's Thieves did, everything everyone did, was for nothing in the end.
If she's telling the truth.]
If he isn't dead, can his heart be restored to him before the loop ends? They need him, he would be of far more use to them than I ever was.
As I said before, my powers do not extend to matters of the heart. This is something they will have to figure out for themselves.
[ Her head tilts to the side, gold eyes on him for a long minute. ]
You don't believe me, don't trust my words.
[ With a wave of her hand, there's a flash of bright light and suddenly they're sitting at a table in LeBlanc. Only the building is in ruin, the back portion is completely gone and exposing them to expanse of space though there is no worry of needing to breathe here. Outside the windows is nothing but rubble of the streets he used to walk.
Another wave of her hand and again the scenery changes - over and over to all the places Yusuke would recognize as "home"... or that the Goro and Akira currently in the game would. ]
Yuri did this. He doesn't have the nickname "godslayer" for no reason. He has the power to destroy whole worlds single-handedly.
[Whether it's an illusion or the truth, seeing those familiar places in ruin is heartbreaking. It takes everything Yusuke has left not to weep. If this is real, then the other Phantom Thieves from his world, the Akira who cherishes him as a dear friend... they're all dead.]
... why... why did this happen? Why would he want to destroy the worlds we came from?
[ No matter what he thinks, every fiber of his being will know this is real. That there are no tricks to what he's seeing. Eventually they're back at the table in the house. ]
You'll have to ask him that when you see him next. None of you have any homes to return to. What exactly does he expect to happen when the loops end and the worlds are still destroyed?
When I see him next? There's no chance of that happening, not with that thing devouring me from within. I cannot return to the island, I don't even know where I am. The entity can use the corridors, not me. So how could I ever ask him why?
[His fists clench on the table and a tremor passes through him.]
How many times has it taken over one of us? How many times did I give in to it? How much of this chaos is my fault?
Oh, you'll see him again. The entity inside of you isn't the only one capable of changing locations. After all, how do you think I got here in the first place? Certainly not by using one of those corridors.
[ She once again rests a hand over his gently. ]
Those aren't the questions you should be asking yourself, Kitagawa-san. Try: what will happen if you don't keep your strength up in order to keep it at bay?
[ Tsukiko hums quietly, eying him with serious contemplation. ]
I suspect it doesn't need you alive to keep using your body as a vessel. You wouldn't want to face everyone again letting them think they could save you when you're already dead. Think of the damage the entity could do to them with the knowledge that Kitagawa Yusuke no longer exists.
[ Her hand squeezes his. ]
It could hurt them without any struggle while they try desperately to hold back. If you're alive... you might be able to help them. Fight back against it to give them a better chance. However, you'll need to be strong enough. Neglecting yourself now won't help anyone but the entity.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(frozen comment) Rundown!
Something about it gives a vibe of "home", which could be a welcome vibe to people who've lost so much. Some stray cats are running around - each one very eagerly coming to check the pair out.
Here, Yusuke will find he's able to take over the body whenever he wishes, as the entity is content with its work, for now.
Monday: Eraqus gives Yusuke a tour of the house. There isn't much to it; every bedroom is empty except for one, which has a king size bed and dresser and walk-in closet. The clothes are roughly what Yusuke might enjoy wearing.
The kitchen is fully stocked, for some reason. Eraqus will explain that this place has been frozen in time for much longer than the island has been looping, and he hasn't figured out anything on fixing it.
Anywhere else in the house is free to be explored. There's paint in the attic, along with many books. The basement is empty. There's a room to do laundry, and the water is running.
A cave is in the backyard, but Eraqus asks that Yusuke waits to check that out, if he wishes.
Tuesday: Eraqus explains that they need to stay in this place just a little longer, since they need to come up with a good plan. He requests this be a day of resting. The entity's voice is eerily quiet, but the emotional nudge is still there.
Wednesday: He will approach Yusuke to ask what he wants most at this point. The entity's voice is still quiet, but the emotional nudge is stronger today.
Thursday: Entity voice is still quiet, and emotional nudge is the same as yesterday. Someone is showing up.
Friday: Another person is showing up, and the entity is. . .
Saturday: The entity is back to whispering.
Wednesday
He bathes Sunday night, changes into comfortable clothing that is as neutral as he can find. He doesn't eat, only drinking water and a single cup of vegetable broth. The cats flock to him and he sits on the front steps to pet them. He gathers a tuxedo cat into his lap at one point on Monday, and from there it follows him everywhere, even into his room where it mews sadly at the teenager's restless attempts at slumber.
Tuesday he goes into the attic and stares at the paints for a long time. There's no inspiration, no drive, but he tries anyway because it's the only familiar thing left to him. He sees faces in the jagged stabs and swipes of color: Nico scowling, Akira's coldly disdainful stare, Goro trying to smile through tears.
He throws a canister of watered-down black at the canvas with trembling hands, obliterating the patterns. He does not return to the attic again, and he does not sleep at all.
Wednesday, he sits on the front step again, staring out into nothing as he idly strokes the tuxedo cat on his lap. He has grown haggard and painfully thin, the faintest hint of white showing at the roots of his forelock.]
no subject
... It hurts, doesn't it...?
[ There's a wryness to his smile. ]
All of it... hurts. [ an unsteady exhale ] ... I'm sorry I wasn't able to do much, in the end. We both...
[ Both hands curl into tight fists. ]
What... do you want most of all, Yusuke?
no subject
Still, what else can he do in this place but wander like a ghost and pet the cats? He barely wants to eat or sleep and he certainly has no desire to paint. Eraqus is all the company he has but the cats and whatever's currently sleeping in his soul.
At first, he has the urge to be selfish, to ask for his life back, to go home, to forget all about this nightmare. He could wish for Akira to love him, if not this one than the one he knows back home. But he hasn't earned any of that. His Persona might even be lost and for all he knows, he could have a Palace now. He doesn't want to be like that. Better to remain here in purgatory.]
... I want Goro to live. Even if I disappear forever in exchange.
no subject
I'd never want you to disappear, you know. Stop hurting... yes. But...
[ After pulling out a phone, he types and shows it to Yusuke: ]
That's already the case, Yusuke: Goro's not dead.
They're all sleeping, and they'll awaken once this is over.
We just have to be patient.
no subject
How can I ever trust you again? How can I ever trust anyone?
[He leans down, pressing his face into the warm, faintly vibrating side of the cat in his lap.]
Does it even matter? The darkness is devouring me, I can feel it. I don't know how long I have before I'm wiped from existence. Again.
no subject
[ He looks away, expression flickering with pain. ]
Will you really condemn someone who went through the same things you just did? Has been going through it even longer than you? Who's given everything to be there by your side, no matter what?
[ His smile shifts to something wry. ]
Maybe the first step for you, after this, is to try looking at things from another person's perspective, more often. As I've tried doing for you... all this time.
In the end, I think it isn't only about what you accomplish and what you don't accomplish. I think it's about what you try to do... and how hard you fight...
That's what I was doing for everyone. That's all I've ever done, in spite of my own pain. Do you know how many times I've wanted to smack someone across the face for sounding or acting selfish, when I've never had the privilege of being that? All I've known is loss, rejection, temporary kindness from temporary people, rinse, and repeat.
Yet, I never stopped.
It'd be... so easy to give up. Especially now, when all those dark feelings are knocking at the door. So, tell me...
Just what have I done, to wrong you, personally?
Give me a concrete answer.
no subject
[Even if it's foolish, Yusuke needs someone here to care about him. Even though he spent so many years isolated, his relatively brief time with the Phantom Thieves has left him longing for friendship. Genuine guilt squeezes his chest. Maybe it's not really Eraqus's fault, maybe he's been influenced by the darkness just as Yusuke has. With everything else Yusuke has done wrong, he's tired of being a hypocrite as well.
His shoulders tremble. Hopefully the cat doesn't mind being cried on.]
I... I'm sorry... it's not your fault, I just... I-- I don't know what to do... I'm afraid....
no subject
You don't have to apologize. Just know... a person who truly cares about you wouldn't stand by and quietly watch. The truest show of caring is in them trying to steer you onto a better path.
So, really, I suppose it's only fair that you're questioning how much I can be trusted, when I wasn't able to do anything to genuinely help... before...
[ Before being swallowed by that feeling, himself. His next words are quiet. ]
I'm-... I'm scared, too... but I'm not leaving your side, Yusuke.
Thursday
Ah, what I wouldn't give for a good cup of coffee.
no subject
Excuse me... who are you?
no subject
Me? Oh, I'm no one special. Merely here to see the sights and greet all the new visitors.
[ She turns with a hot cup of tea in her hand... hm, wasn't she still making it a second ago? There's a smile on her face. ]
The better question is - who are you?
no subject
Yu--
[Her eyes make him tense. Golden eyes are never a good thing in this reality. He hasn't even looked in a mirror since arriving, for fear he'll see the same thing staring back at him. He swallows thickly and tries again.]
Yusuke Kitagawa. Might I know your name as well?
no subject
It's nice to meet you, Kitagawa-san. [ She sounds genuinely pleased.
She hums thoughtfully. ]
You can call me whatever you'd like. I don't mind. Just make it a good one.
no subject
But he'd deserve it, wouldn't he?]
... Tsukiko. It means "child of the moon." Your hair and your... your eyes, they remind me of the moon.
[The moon, which is surrounded by darkness.]
no subject
Tsukiko, I like it. The name is quite fitting. Please sit, Kitagawa-san. Have a cup of tea with me.
[ Tsukiko waves a hand and there's suddenly a hot cup of tea waiting for him at one of the seats at the table. She moves to sit across from it gracefully. ]
How have you been?
no subject
... not well, I'm afraid. But that's to be expected with everything that's happened. Expected and deserved.
no subject
Hmmm? Why is it deserved? Have you done something terrible?
[ She leans forward in her seat, placing her tea down on the table. ]
no subject
[If he wasn't holding the tea cup, his hands might be shaking. Does she really not know, or is she toying with him? He doesn't trust or believe in anyone, not even himself.]
I betrayed those who would call me friend. I tried to kill them.
no subject
You poor dear. None of this is what you signed up for. Watching your friends die, dying yourself, being rejected and the object of scorn over and over again.
[ A sigh. ]
Certainly those individuals didn't help you. Not giving you the answers you sought, brushing you aside as though you didn't matter. They were supposed to be teaching you, training you to defeat the entity and what did they do instead? Play games, let you all turn on each other, shattered the last of your soul to allow something dark inside of you.
no subject
But he was wrong all along, wasn't he? Wasn't he selfish in thinking that way? The more he tries to think of a denial, the more his head aches. So he fixates on the one detail he can follow.]
... so I did die, didn't I? My heart felt as if it burst, the agony was unbearable.
no subject
Then she nods solemnly. ]
More than once, I'm afraid. There are so many things you don't know yet, Kitagawa-san. Those people hid all of it from you. They didn't tell you how Akira was truly the one killed ten people in the first loop, that your friend, Sakura-chan was also present during that time and never came back. So many innocent people fell and never got to return.
Yet they, who remain shrouded in darkness are allowed to remember - allowed to continue existing and playing these twisted games with the friends you have.
no subject
[He presses a hand over his heart, knowing that thing is still somewhere inside him. He feels foul, tainted.]
And after letting the darkness consume me, I no longer have any friends among the living, of that I am certain.
no subject
[ She sounds genuinely doubtful about this subject matter. ]
Do you think perhaps they chose you to be their sacrifice to the entity inside of you from the start? To instill doubt, grief, jealousy and anger in your heart to draw out their enemies just so they can end it all? [ Tsukiko rests her chin in hand thoughtfully. ]
You can call me friend if you'd like, Kitagawa-san. I'll give you nothing but the truth. Starting with what you already suspected: Vanitas lied about everything in order to protect the people he cared about, including taking the fall for Nico.
no subject
Their reasons no longer matter. My being in this place, the entity inside me... I can never go back, can I? So there is no point in wondering why this happened or who is to blame. I know I am not innocent, however.
[He closes his eyes.]
I wanted what I cannot have, and I allowed myself to be manipulated. I haven't changed at all from the days I lived under Madarame's thumb.
no subject
I believe the reasons matter very much. However, you are correct. You cannot go back. The entity inside of you is consuming your soul now. Its very dangerous and cannot give back what its already taken. Soon you, Kitagawa Yusuke, will cease to exist.
[ There is only truth to her words just like she said. ]
If I could grant you one final wish - what would you choose? Unfortunately, my powers don't allow me to change what's inside someone's heart but if it's within my abilities, I will do my best to give it to you.
no subject
I wish the Goro Akechi that died to protect me here, the one that wanted to be my friend, to return to life in his own world, safely away from this place.
no subject
I'm afraid that even if I did that now, he would not be able to return to his own world safely. During his fight with Shea, Yuri destroyed the worlds so there is nothing left for him to return to. Not yet, anyway.
[ Tsukiko smiles now. ]
For the time being, I will ensure his safety for the duration of his time within the loops until he can be returned. As for the state of his existence... well, he's not truly dead. He merely isn't whole at the current moment but that will change when the loop ends or they discover how to change that.
no subject
If she's telling the truth.]
If he isn't dead, can his heart be restored to him before the loop ends? They need him, he would be of far more use to them than I ever was.
no subject
As I said before, my powers do not extend to matters of the heart. This is something they will have to figure out for themselves.
[ Her head tilts to the side, gold eyes on him for a long minute. ]
You don't believe me, don't trust my words.
[ With a wave of her hand, there's a flash of bright light and suddenly they're sitting at a table in LeBlanc. Only the building is in ruin, the back portion is completely gone and exposing them to expanse of space though there is no worry of needing to breathe here. Outside the windows is nothing but rubble of the streets he used to walk.
Another wave of her hand and again the scenery changes - over and over to all the places Yusuke would recognize as "home"... or that the Goro and Akira currently in the game would. ]
Yuri did this. He doesn't have the nickname "godslayer" for no reason. He has the power to destroy whole worlds single-handedly.
no subject
... why... why did this happen? Why would he want to destroy the worlds we came from?
no subject
You'll have to ask him that when you see him next. None of you have any homes to return to. What exactly does he expect to happen when the loops end and the worlds are still destroyed?
no subject
[His fists clench on the table and a tremor passes through him.]
How many times has it taken over one of us? How many times did I give in to it? How much of this chaos is my fault?
no subject
[ She once again rests a hand over his gently. ]
Those aren't the questions you should be asking yourself, Kitagawa-san. Try: what will happen if you don't keep your strength up in order to keep it at bay?
[ Tsukiko hums quietly, eying him with serious contemplation. ]
I suspect it doesn't need you alive to keep using your body as a vessel. You wouldn't want to face everyone again letting them think they could save you when you're already dead. Think of the damage the entity could do to them with the knowledge that Kitagawa Yusuke no longer exists.
[ Her hand squeezes his. ]
It could hurt them without any struggle while they try desperately to hold back. If you're alive... you might be able to help them. Fight back against it to give them a better chance. However, you'll need to be strong enough. Neglecting yourself now won't help anyone but the entity.